waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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