this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
