My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
