woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
