why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
