dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
