i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
