me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
