it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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