"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
