youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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