he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
