Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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