I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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