i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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