Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
