Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
