so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
