So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
