its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
