You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
