I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
