why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You dont lie about slip and slides
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
