you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
