I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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