Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
