i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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