What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
