i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
