Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
