theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
