I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
