You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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