Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
