i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
