the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Shame - the story of my life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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