im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
