if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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