There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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