Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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