Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
