we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
