Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
