Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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