I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
