But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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