it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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