So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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