well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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