Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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