Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
