i came on her dog
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
