help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
